


Breathe

by mikhailomeddows



Series: You Think Too Much [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Mickey comes out, mickey's thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 21:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14679645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikhailomeddows/pseuds/mikhailomeddows
Summary: So, as Ian kisses him on the top of the head, he revels in the thought of how wonderful it is to finally be able to breathe.





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I realised now that in my previous work i didn't mention Mickey's iconic coming out scene, so here's a short one-shot to go with that.

Mickey’s soul shatters and his stomach drops as Ian yells at him about how much of a pussy he is, because he knows what Ian is about to make him do. 

He thinks about all the times Ian had mentioned coming out to him and how every single instance had resulted in his heart beating so fast he thought he would die. 

Mickey yells back at Ian, trying to convince him (himself) that he doesn’t care if he leaves but as he says those words he thinks about how he’d felt in those few months Ian had been gone, thinks about how he’d wake up every day sick to his stomach because the person sleeping next to him didn’t have ginger hair and didn’t smell like cigarettes and cinnamon and _home._ And he thinks about if Ian leaves through that door into the cold, Chicago air, he might not survive it. 

He thinks about how terrified he is as he slams his hand against the bar a couple of times, calling attention to the whores and the customers and the bartender and his wife and dad. And he thinks about how his nightmare is sat less than ten feet away from him, sipping a beer and was previously talking about _fags._

“Hey, hey! Excuse me!” He yells, trying to stall as much as he can, just so he could have a few more seconds thinking about what he’s going to say before his dad inevitably beats him to a pulp. He notices Ian stop in the doorway, and that’s enough to encourage him to draw in a breath and just fucking _talk_ for once. 

“I just want everybody here to know I’m fucking gay!” He finally says, after what feels like years and years of _thinking._ “Big old ‘mo.” He thinks about how little his voice shook as he spoke those words and thanks whatever deity is out there for small miracles. “I just thought everybody should know that.” Now, he notices, his voice begins to shake as his breaths quicken and his heart rate speed up, but Ian’s awed gaze on him is enough to keep him grounded for now. “You happy now?” He raises his eyebrows at Ian, fighting off the tears burning his eyes. 

He thinks _what the fuck_ as the music starts back up again and conversations flow just as they did before. He thinks about how no one reacted as his whole world shifted on its axis and he finally, _finally_ admitted to himself what was always lingering in the back of him mind, whilst simultaneously admitting it to his homophobic prick of a father. 

He thinks about how this is what he expected as his dad charges at him screaming and yelling about how he’ll fucking kill him. And even as the punches rain down on him and Ian joins in the rapidly growing bar fight, he feels lighter than he’d ever felt before. 

His thoughts are rapid and unstoppable as the cops drag him and his dad- no, Terry- to the police cars and he thinks about everything he wished he could have said to his dad when he first figured out he was gay and when he first started hooking up with Ian, so he does. He humps the car and screams about how he takes Ian’s big dick hard and fast and how he loves sucking that same big dick and he says all this with a smile on his face and the weight of the world that was crushing him not so long ago practically non-existent. 

And he thinks about how fucking happy he is as he talks and laughs with Ian, even with a bloodied face and a possible broken tooth but eyes brighter than they’d ever been before. So, as Ian kisses him on the top of the head, he revels in the thought of how wonderful it is to finally be able to breathe. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! comment and kudos if you enjoyed?  
> Twitter: mikhailomeddows  
> 


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